Mediation. Throughout my youth, I've had this notion that mediation was for monks and didn't work; I'm sure much like a lot of you. I bashed it for not working or not creating results. I missed a lot of the signs when others would mention it and its results. I'd read all the positives but I wouldn't believe in it or wouldn't follow through. Lately, I've been reading more and more about the affects of meditation and what 20 mins can offer. I'm still not convinced, so that's why I want to try meditation this week. I'm going to do 20 mins of mediation somewhere in my day. I would like to do it in the morning, but there's a steam room at the hotel and I want to do it in there as well. The time schedule really doesn't fit mine, so I'll most like being doing it after my workout in the afternoon. I choose the steam room because, 1) it's usually empty. Every time I'm in there, maybe one or two other people have been in there with me. 2) It's a hot, dark place where I can sit in silence without technology or outside noises to bother me. I like this because I'm a beginner and want to really jump start my practice. 3) I'm trying to combine the benefits of the steam room and meditation to make my time more efficient for me. And 4) I have a roommate and am still uncomfortable sitting on the floor and mediating, so this will make going and doing it a little easier for me. This is all personal preference, and I shouldn't care what my roommate thinks, but I'm going figure this one out on my own first before I start letting my room mate watch my personal reflective time.
So that's it. 20 mins a day this week to re-center yourself and gather your thoughts. I hope to gain clarity, stress relief and a better breathing pattern. I'm curious in what other affects I might encounter, and hope this is a good calm week.
Side note to another reason why I picked this challenge this week: I was drugged on Friday night at a bar in Poland. That has never happened to me, and I was already extremely drunk. I didn't like how I lost control and entered a dark, depressive state in an unknown country. I lost my friends, and have no idea how I got home. I woke up around 1pm the next day fully clothed on top of my bed. Needless to say, it was a recover weekend and I want to get back to a better physical, mental, and spiritual state.
No bonus challenge this week.
REFLECTION: I really tried to experiment with my mediation week. Monday I did 20 mins straight in the steam room. Tuesday I did 10 mins in the sauna in the morning, and 10 mins in my room at night. Wednesday I did 20 mins cross-legged on the floor in the room. Thursday I did 20 mins with mediation music laying down on the floor. Friday I did 20 mins in the steam room. And Saturday I tired laying down in my bed listening to mediation music. So.. It was an interesting experience because I felt as though I struggled the same struggles that most beginners experience. What do I focus my mind on? With all of these different situations, and different types of mediation, I experienced the same struggle. So I focused entirely on breathing. I found for me, that 100 deep breaths was almost a perfect 20 mins. I think each time, besides when I used music, I was off by 30 seconds. Pretty good I think. Now most of the time I would lose count, or start over at 30, whatever, but regardless it worked for me. I listened to my breathe, I felt my chest move and my lungs fill. I focused on the number I was on and nothing else. My breathe and my number. And sometimes I would try and focus on the pure blackness of the back of my eye lids. Sometimes I saw black, sometimes I saw shapes or even different figures. My mind certainly wasn't clear but a lot of the daily issues went away and it was relaxing. I received two main things from this week. 1) I blanked my mind briefly and focused on me. This I think is a main proponent of why others mediate. To focus on the mental and physical state of yourself. 2) I learned what my mind went to when there was nothing else to focus on. For instance, my back started hurting from sitting up straight, my hands and feet started tingling because my breathing was so deep, and my mind would sometimes worry how much time was left. (which I didn't like) So why did my mind go to the negatives? I think mediation is a good first step into breaking into your mental toughness. Honestly, I didn't expect for this to happen from just 20 minutes. Which to me, tells me my mental toughness isn't strong enough. Mental toughness or grit something you constantly need to work on, and mine isn't cutting it. So for me, I'm going to work on it daily. To do something that scares me, that makes me uncomfortable, etc. How is your mental toughness, and what are some ways you can add mental fortitude?
I'm also not sure if one week was long enough to gain too too much from mediating. I did hear from somewhere that maybe after two weeks you can gain some confidence and see real progress from mediation, so maybe we should try that out and see how we feel.
Did anyone find any other benefits, notes, major events that happened during your mediation week? I would love to hear it and so would everyone else!